


Mistakes, Mother

by invisible_nobody



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_nobody/pseuds/invisible_nobody
Summary: Thanks to Amara, Mary Winchester has returned.While lying in his bed, Sam contemplates the future of his relationship with his mother, as well as facing mistakes from his past.





	Mistakes, Mother

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to @themegalosaurus on Tumblr for the idea :)

Of all the twists and turns in his life, this one had to take the cake.

_ His mother. _

The woman he’d only seen in pictures or hallucinations. The person he knew only through his father and Dean.

Mary Winchester.

He didn’t know whether to throw a small party, or sit in his room and cry. He was so overjoyed. He couldn’t believe Amara, of all people, had given her back to Dean.

To him.

_ A mother _ .

Should he cry? Should he laugh? He felt so full of contradictions - almost like a teenager, all over again. So happy, overjoyed. Yet so worried - another person he couldn’t afford to lose.

But, as he lay in his bed, pondering, his mind drifted. Deja vu. He felt a sudden burst of deja vu, but not the good kind.

He was remembering. But he was remembering the bad stuff. Remembering another room with a fan on the ceiling. Another time he was lying on his back. Another time he saw his mother - this one fictional.

His jaw tightened. That room. That  _ year _ . What would his mom think if she knew? How would she look at him if she knew what he did?  _ Could _ she even look at him?

How would he even tell her?

He had been an addict. He had started the end of the world.

Yes, he fixed it,  _ but that didn’t mean he didn’t start it in the first place _ .

He could’ve shut the Gates of Hell, but didn’t. He released The Darkness.

Yes, it ended alright,  _ but so many people lost their lives _ .

Last time Mary Winchester was in his life, he was six months old. He was in the middle of a feeding session. He was an infant, free of sin.

One of these days, she’s going to find out, whether he’s ready to tell her or not. He doesn’t know what she’ll think of him.

Sam is prepared for her to be angry. He expects her to be disappointed. But she has to stay in his life.   
_ He needs her. _


End file.
